The Life I’m Learning to Become #5: Learning to Become Someone I’m Proud Of

 

Ezra has always been the kind of person who believes that working harder will eventually lead him to the life he wants.

For years, he has worked as a software engineer at Lumora Tech, contributing to Pair%, one of the company’s most important projects. He often works overtime, stays late to solve difficult problems, and pushes himself to achieve more.

So when Ezra finally receives the promotion he has been working toward and becomes a supervisor, he expects to feel fulfilled.

Instead, something feels missing.

He has achieved the goal he once wanted so badly, yet he still finds himself wondering whether he is good enough.

The Version of Ourselves We Think We Need to Become

Ezra is familiar with the pressure to become better.

Since his school days, he has constantly compared himself to the people around him. He imagined that success would eventually make him feel confident. He believed that if he became more accomplished, more successful, and more admired, he would finally feel satisfied with himself.

One person he often looked up to was his boss, Rizal.

To Ezra, Rizal represented the kind of person he wanted to become: experienced, successful, confident, and respected by others.

Ezra thought that if he worked hard enough, he would eventually reach the same place.

And eventually, he did.

After years of hard work, Ezra was promoted to supervisor.

At first, he was proud of himself. The promotion was proof that his efforts had paid off.

But after two months in his new position, Ezra began to realize something uncomfortable.

Becoming better had slowly turned into trying to become someone else.

He was so focused on becoming more successful that he had forgotten to appreciate the person he already was.

One evening, Ezra has dinner with his sister Maya, his brother-in-law Naren, and his girlfriend Naomi. As they talk, Ezra admits that becoming a supervisor has not been as easy as he imagined.

He still makes mistakes.

Sometimes he struggles to solve problems.

Sometimes he wonders whether he was actually ready for the promotion.

“People make mistakes, Ezra. My students make mistakes too, but that’s okay. It’s part of the process,” Naren tells him.

Naren, who works as a lecturer at Alphaeter National University, pauses before adding, “What matters is becoming better without losing yourself in the process.”

Those words stay with Ezra.

Perhaps growth was never supposed to mean becoming a completely different person.

Becoming Someone You Can Be Proud Of

After that conversation, Ezra begins making small changes.

He doesn't suddenly become the perfect supervisor. Instead, he starts paying attention to the person he wants to be.

He keeps promises to himself.

After spending an exhausting week at work, he gives himself permission to watch a football match instead of feeling guilty for taking a break. He begins to understand that rest does not mean he is lazy or less ambitious.

At work, Ezra remains honest with his colleagues when giving feedback. When he makes a mistake, he apologizes instead of trying to hide it.

When a piece of code refuses to work after hours of effort, he allows himself to feel frustrated—but he doesn't immediately conclude that he is a failure.

He tries again.

These choices may seem small, but they gradually change the way Ezra sees himself.

He no longer measures his worth solely through promotions, achievements, or other people's opinions.

Instead, he starts asking himself a different question:

Am I becoming someone I can respect?

Accepting That Growth Isn’t Linear

Ezra soon discovers that personal growth isn't a straight line.

Some days, he feels confident that he can become a good supervisor.

Other days, he regrets accepting the promotion.

There are moments when he handles difficult situations well, and there are moments when he wishes he could go back to being a software engineer with fewer responsibilities.

But Ezra slowly learns that struggling does not mean he has stopped growing.

Regression doesn't erase progress.

Having a difficult day doesn't erase everything he has accomplished.

Making a mistake doesn't return him to the person he used to be.

Growth can be messy. Sometimes it looks like moving forward, while other times it simply means refusing to give up.

Ezra begins to understand that he doesn't have to become better every single day.

Sometimes, simply continuing is enough.

What Ezra Finally Understands

Ezra eventually realizes that he doesn't need to become extraordinary to have a meaningful life.

He is human.

He will make mistakes.

He will have moments of confidence and moments of doubt.

He will succeed at some things and fail at others.

And none of those things make him less worthy of being proud of himself.

Ezra also realizes that he doesn't need to become perfect—not in his career, not in his relationships, and not in his life.

What matters is becoming someone whose choices reflect the person he wants to be.

Someone who works hard without destroying himself.

Someone who admits when he is wrong.

Someone who continues learning without constantly comparing himself to others.

Someone who can celebrate his achievements without believing they determine his worth.

And for Ezra, that is enough.

Did Ezra's Story Resonates with you?

Ezra's journey raises questions that many of us eventually have to ask ourselves.

Are you becoming someone you genuinely respect, or someone you think other people will admire?

Are your goals truly yours, or are they based on the version of success you believe you are supposed to achieve?

Which parts of yourself are you learning to accept?

What small choice could bring you closer to the person you want to become?

Sometimes, becoming a better person isn't about making a dramatic transformation.

It can begin with something as simple as resting when you need to rest, apologizing when you're wrong, keeping a promise to yourself, or continuing even when you don't feel confident.

Final Reflection: The Person I’m Still Becoming

The idea of becoming has no final destination.

Everyone has their own version of the person they hope to become. Yet when we look back at who we used to be, we may realize that we didn't become exactly who we once imagined.

We became someone different.

Someone imperfect.

Someone who has made mistakes.

Someone who has changed along the way.

Someone who is still learning.

And perhaps that isn't a failure.

Perhaps becoming isn't about reaching a final version of ourselves.

Maybe it's about waking up each day and choosing, little by little, to become someone we can be proud of.

We may never completely arrive at the person we think we should become.

But we can keep growing.

We can keep learning.

We can keep making choices that reflect who we truly want to be.

And along the way, we may discover that the person we are becoming is already someone worth being proud of.